Hello, girlfriends! We just received a very touching comment from our reader Helen Werme, and we’d like your help in responding to her:”…Our girl friend passed away and I wondered if any of you have ever had a celebration of life? Our friend has only seven of us Red Hat Ladies and we are planning to rent a pontoon boat and take her ashes and her husband’s and pet’s ashes out to sea as she wished. That is fine but what else could you suggest we do? We have written a poem and have a frame with pictures of our events with her, but need something more. Thanks for your help if you have any suggestions. –Queen Mom Helen”

What dear friends you are! Your girlfriend was fortunate to have such devoted pals. Thank you for writing to us, Helen, because female friendships like yours are the inspiration for our work. A Celebration of Life is something we do intend to cover on our site, but we haven’t formally done so yet. In addition to the ideas you already have, which are lovely, we can suggest the following ways to honor your friend and nurture yourselves as well :

• Reflect the personality of your friend by sharing drinks/snacks/food that she would have enjoyed. Make one of her “famous” recipes.
• Sit in a circle and talk about how she touched each of your lives, the things that you will miss, and memories.  Sharing these things will reinforce the importance of her life in your hearts and minds.  If you’re not sure what to talk about, try to finish one of these sentences:  “I’ll never forget when…”,  “Do you remember her…”, “I didn’t get to tell her…” “The first time we met was…”,  “She was great at…”,  “She always told me…”, “She always wanted to…”, “Together, we…”.
• It would be fitting to honor her with a moment of silent thought and reflection.
• Ask each person to verbally give a tribute or farewell to her before releasing the ashes or write down your sentiments and place them in a corked bottle to toss overboard. Also in the bottle you could include items that have a special significance to her – a purple feather or that ruby red lipstick she didn’t go without. Afterwards have each friend toss a red or purple flower in the sea to signify your personal farewell to her.
• Keep memories alive with a special project you can do in honor of your friend. Plant a public garden or tree each year; have an annual garage sale and donate the proceeds to a charity in her honor; repurpose some of her clothing to make patchwork quilts for the needy or less fortunate.
• Whatever you decide to do, remember to respect the feelings of all present as you honor your friend. Everyone grieves differently, and not everyone may want to participate in every part of the remembrance. Create an atmosphere of love and friendship, and you can’t go wrong celebrating the life of your friend.

And now we’d like to hear from you, girlfriends! Please use the comment form below to contribute your ideas for celebrating the life of a dear girlfriend. As always, we’re looking forward to your thoughtful replies.