How do you live a long, healthy, happy, adventure-filled life? More to the point, how do you stay young when your years say you are old?  ”Learn your life-lessons along the way so they don’t need to keep being repeated, ” says Valerie Ramsey, author of Gracefully : Looking and Being Your Best at Any Age (2008, McGraw Hill). It was no surprise to us that “Get Girlfriends for Life” is one of those very important lessons, but we thought you’d enjoy hearing the rest of what Valerie, a mother, grandmother, executive and runway and print model, has to say. We truly enjoyed the positivity of her book, which reveals her secrets for how to nurture your health, stay positive, and look and feel your best, at any age. She encourages her readers to look forward to all the years that lay ahead, and gives particularly helpful advice on transitioning through life’s stages. It definitely is apropos for a Mother’s Day read – or a great gift for your mom! Valerie was kind enough to share her “Wisdom for the ages” with GirlfriendCelebrations. Read on to find out the best time to make girlfriends, according to her:

Women’s Life-Lessons from 30 to 70 with Author Valerie Ramsey

The 30’s: Underschedule Yourself: “The Thirties are the decade where you can do it all, look your best, excel at a career, marry the man of your dreams, have children, etc…and consequently, women in their 30s are usually exhausted trying to do it all. When activities are lined up endlessly, we must race through them like an athlete running the hurdles in a track-and-field competition. Jump, sprint, jump, sprint, jump..in contrast, having time and space-even the smallest amount, as long as it is allotted consciously-around activities invites us to savor, absorb, and actually experience them. Pauses allow your spirit to catch up with your body. Read the rest of this entry »

While book clubs seem all the rage these days, gathering with the girls to discuss books leaves little room for a girl to express her creative side. Why not change up your next girls night in with a hip and soulful poetry party? With inspiration from National Poetry Month, Girlfriend Celebrations has created a party plan for girlfriends like you looking for a fresh, expressive outlet. A poetry jam for women who want a creative slice of life or an alternative to the humdrum girls night. Yes, you can create this party with poetic ease, even if you’re feeling at a loss for words.  So go ahead, get your guest list together and plan away with us. Read the rest of this entry »

Giveaway has ended, but enjoy the author interview! Are you happy, girlfriend? Why the heck not? Are you letting the little things get in the way? According to a new book, women tend to let their momentary mistakes overshadow  their episodes of excellence, until self-doubt shakes the foundation of even the happiest life. Unfortunately, this is the way many women think about everything—their love lives, their friendships, their bank accounts, their family life, their career, and their body image.

Lucy Danziger, editor in chief of Self, and Catherine Birndorf, a psychiatrist and expert on women’s mental health issues, teamed up to write The Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life’s Little Imperfections. (Voice; March 2, 2010; $24.99). In it, they use the simple metaphor of a house to illustrate the central problem: when women should be grateful for what they have in their lives in the room at hand, they are either seeing the room’s imperfections or, worse, worrying about another room.  The book takes women through different parts of their lives (homes), helps them understand their patterns, and gives them new ways of thinking to solve their own problems. You can find out much more about the book, the authors, and the nine rooms at www.ninerooms.com

And guess what? One whole room (chapter) is devoted to women’s friendships! So, of course, we had to find out more, because who doesn’t want to be happier? Here’s our exclusive Q&A with the authors. Scroll to the end to find out how you can win a FREE copy of the book.
Q. Let’s talk about friendship. Why is friendship The Living Room? How is it connected to the other emotional rooms?

A. The living room is where all your socializing takes place. It’s where you interact with your neighbors, your friends, where you entertain and throw parties, and where you end up comparing yourself to other women, for better or worse.

How you behave in the living room is not exactly how you behave in other emotional areas of your life…you’re typically on “good” behavior, trying to look and act your best and put forward your social self…but this doesn’t always equate with how you feel on the inside. Many women feel insecure in this social arena, and it can come from feeling like a nerd as a high-schooler (these memories are stored in the basement) or being more concerned about how you look in your jeans instead of who you are talking to (body image belongs in the bathroom).

Q. Why is female friendship so important?

A. We know from extensive research that strong social ties can make you healthier and happier. The more connected you are to your community, and the happier you are, the healthier you are. The two are connected. So keep those friendships intact, for their sake and yours!

Q. What are some of the most common problems or issues women have with friendship?

A. From the women we spoke to for our book, and we interviewed hundreds, we found that saying “no” was a major struggle. Women seem hard-wired to help, to give and to do it at their own expense. This is where our key process:  too much of a good thing is a bad thing… So the takeaway message here, or “pearl” is: you have to know your limits.

Having limits and sticking to them is essential. Women can feel selfish when they say “No, sorry, can’t help out today,” or I have to cancel because I am totally worn out, but in fact, we tell women in the book that this isn’t selfish, it’s self preservation. You simply have to take care of yourself…because only then can you be healthy and happy and giving to those around you, including being a good friend. BTW, this is why we sometimes call the living room, the “giving room”.

Q. How can we be happier in regard to friendship?

A. Many women believe that a happy friendship is one without conflict. We hear lots of women say they don’t like to disagree with their friends. They believe that really close friendships should always run smoothly. But this may be because you are smoothing over differences or issues that actually need to be discussed. If you don’t figure out how to disagree or tolerate a difference of opinion, you can end up with lots issues getting swept under the rug. And then the rug or the atmosphere in the living room becomes problematic, bumpy,  or messy, since always avoiding conflict leads to a whole new problem!

One of our favorite key processes in the book is: “It’s not Either/or, .. instead think Both/and”… which means that you can be both best friends and disagree on something. In other words, conflict is okay. (We love our siblings and often disagree with them… sometimes our gal pals become surrogate sisters, but the fights are uncomfortable because unlike the family room, where everyone has to love each other no matter what, girlfriends can choose to break up or move apart, and that often happens because there’s a breakdown in communication. You have to tell each other when you’re upset. (For friends who are different and disagree, but love each other through thick and thin, think of the great movie and TV rolls where the conflict is played out in dialogue, like in Sex and the City or Friends!) But you may have to learn to live with a little discomfort in the name of a healthier and ultimately happier friendship!

Q. What is your favorite thing to do with girlfriends?

CB: Almost anything that involves talking…especially sharing a cup of tea or taking a long walk.

LD: I talk with my best friends too, but usually it’s either while we exercise or while we eat! I do different things with different people, so it’s often their call.

Lucy Danziger has been editor-in-chief of Self magazine for over eight years. Catherine Birndorf, M.D., is a psychiatrist and the founding director of the Payne Whitney Women’s Program at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center. Both women live in New York City.

And now for the giveaway

You have TWO chances to win a free copy of The Nine Rooms of Happiness, courtesy of Hyperion Voice. Read the rest of this entry »

Do you have a circle of girlfriends, or just wish you did? For many women, having a “circle of friends” is still a dream. Irene Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, explores the “circle” concept and offers her expert advice on how to grow your girlfriend circle. We’re honored to have her guest post, written just for GirlfriendCelebrations. Find out how to win a copy of Irene’s book below!

By Irene S. Levine, PhD (aka The Friendship Doctor)

The idea of a “circle of friends” isn’t new. Beginning in the late 1800s, Amish women formed quilting circles to share expertise and companionship. After they had finished individual patches for a quilt, they would come together (sometimes travelling over relatively long distances) during the spring and summer to lend a hand to one another in piecing them together. The quilters socialized as they sewed, catching up on gossip and developing long-lasting bonds that became part of the fabric of the Amish culture.

The desire to have an embracing circle of female friends hasn’t diminished but still remains elusive for many women. When I interviewed Jeffrey Zaslow, author of The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship, which chronicles the story of an exceptional friendship among 11 women that has extended over four decades, he told me two types of readers had written him: those who have a circle of friends similar to the “Girls” and those who wish they did! It’s easy to understand why many women without a tight-knit circle of friends would covet one for companionship, support and comfort they offer.

But as women graduate, marry, mother, divorce, move, or change work, often not even in any particular order, their lives often diverge and they find it difficult to maintain old friendships, let alone friendship circles. The girlfriends someone made in elementary and high school may live in other states or other nations. (One study of college students, found that the average student moved more than six times over the course of 19 years, and that the average distance between friends was 895 miles).  Your co-workers are more likely to hop from job to job than ever before, or decide to change their career paths entirely.

Don’t get me wrong. Not every woman wants or needs a circle. In my survey of more than 1500 women for my new book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, I found that certain personality factors may predispose some women to gravitate towards circles as opposed to one-on-one relationships. For example, compared to introverts, extroverts often enjoy having a larger number of friendships and may be more likely to relish the dynamics of a group. Or they may so thrive on being with people, that they like being part of circles as well as being part of twosomes.

If you are a person who feels even a tinge of circle envy, and there are many reasons why you would, there are still opportunities to forge a sisterhood later in life. One of the keys to creating a circle is creating or finding some natural affinity group that has the potential for longevity and creating rituals to bind the ties of friendship.

The Friendship Doctor’s Prescription for Circle Envy

• Join a knitting group, sewing circle, book club or cooking club;
• Organize a regular canasta, bridge, Bunco, Scrabble or mah-jongg game;
• Volunteer as part of a smaller group attached to a larger religious or civic organization;
• Volunteer at a museum or hospital;
• Become part of a church or faith-based community;
• Adopt a cause, such as conservation or animal welfare, or a political action group
• Join a support group of women who share a common problem
• [Editor's Note: One more suggestion: Look into Girlfriend Circles, a service that introduces you to potential friends in your area.]

With any luck, you will form natural ties within the group, Then, you can figure out ways to strengthen them at GirlfriendCelebrations!

Irene S. Levine, PhD is an award-winning freelance journalist and author who is trained as a psychologist. She blogs about female friendships on The Huffington Post and on The Friendship Blog. Her book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, was just published by Overlook Press. She is also a professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine.

Now For the Giveaway!

When we first heard that Irene Levine was writing Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, we were a little dismayed. After all, friendship breakups are no fun. But now that Irene’s book has hit bookstores and we’ve read our copy cover to cover, we can truly say: This book should be on the bookshelf of every woman who cares about female friendship. Not only is it filled with the kind of smart advice Irene dispenses regularly on The Friendship Blog, it is warm, comforting and takes the shame out of losing a friendship. This book can help you come to terms with the friendships you have lost (and we’ve ALL lost girlfriends and wondered why) and give you hope for new friendships to come. It’s easy to read, and contains loads of scannable advice for us short-attention-span gals. Just read it! We’re giving away TWO COPIES of this fabulous book, courtesy of Irene Levine! To enter, simply:

1. Leave a comment on this post stating why you want the book, AND/OR

2. Re-tweet this contest using the hashtag #GirlfriendCelebrations and this link: http://bit.ly/32ugH4

Two winners will be chosen at random from all entries received by 11:59 PM on Thursday, September 24, 2009. Winner must have a U.S. shipping address. Good luck! Read the rest of this entry »

You know how we love to get our chores done while having fun with our girlfriends. Well, our girlfriend Felicia from the Well-Heeled Society has come up with a way to combine two girls night party ideas in one: The book club/pedicure party. Now that’s a smart idea for busy girlfriends: Get your toes done, have fun, and discuss literature, all at the same time! Felicia created this party plan to celebrate the release of her book How To Stylishly Fall From Grace: Revelations From My Perfectly-Flawed Life.

Felicia has included suggestions of delicious spa products to use, as well as shoe-themed cocktails. Check out all her suggestions right here. And be sure to let us know what you think! Read the rest of this entry »

Winners have been notified. Check your email! Ah, motherhood. So rewarding, so challenging, so…hilarious? Mother’s Day is just around the corner, girlfriends, and it’s not too early to start thinking about your mom and all she means to you…and Mother’s Day gifts, of course! We’ve got just the antidote to those sappy Mother’s Day cards and gifts. Have you visited the website PostcardsFromYoMomma? It’s a hilarious collection of emails from people’s moms. Started by two girlfriends, Doree Shafrir and Jessica Grose, PostcardsFromYoMomma became an online sensation just days after launching. Now, these smart ladies are bringing us an alternative to mushy Mother’s Day items with Love, Mom: Poignant, Goofy, Brilliant Messages from Home(248 pages, 2009, Hyperion). This little hardcover is filled with laugh-out-loud moments. Warning: It’s hard to put down! Doree and Jessica were kind enough to answer a few questions just for GirlfriendCelebrations.com. Read on for the interview. Then, see the end of this post to find out how you can win one of FIVE free copies of the book. It makes a great, giggle-inducing gift for anyone who is a mom or just has a mom!

Q. How did this project get started?

Jessica: My mother sent me a particularly ridiculous email, and I thought it was so funny I sent it to Doree. Her immediate reaction was, OMG, my mom sends me emails just like this! It was during the work day, and Doree went out to get some ice cream—upon her return she said, let’s put these up on a website. So we started the site and sent out an email to our closest friends asking for submissions. After only a few days, we realized we had stumbled on something that people really related to.

Q. Were you girlfriends before this project? How has working together affected your friendship? (or vice versa?) 

Doree: We were friendly before the project started but we didn’t know each other very well—we mostly IMed during the day but we hadn’t hung out that much one-on-one. One of the nicest parts of doing this project together was that we became much closer friends. We also (fortunately!) discovered that we work really well together.

Q. What have you learned about moms or about motherhood from doing this project?

Doree/Jessica: We realized that no matter what a mother is saying—whether she’s nagging you about writing thank-you notes, gabbing about her latest shoe purchase, or just saying hi—she’s doing it from a place of love and concern. Even though we sometimes roll our eyes at our moms’ emails, doing this gave us a greater appreciation for just how much they want the best for us.
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[Congratulations to Natalie Tucker Miller. Look for a new giveaway soon!] Just hitting the New York Times best-seller list, The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter, and the Town That Raised Them (225 pages, 2009, Hyperion) is an affectionate, witty memoir by Chicago Tribune advice columnist Amy Dickinson (”Ask Amy”). We know you’re going to enjoy this book, girlfriends! It’s an inspiring read about accepting oneself, prevailing in the face of failures, and doing it all supported by a band of women who can’t get enough of each other. From celebrating her “dorkitude” to pondering “Livestock in the Kitchen,” Dickinson is endearingly candid as she tells the story of being a single mother to daughter Emily, finding herself professionally, and realizing the ultimate happy ending. This is a book you’ll want to grab for a book club or pass among your girlfriends group. For a chance to a get a free copy, see the end of this post. But first, read our interview with the author. Imagine our thrill at having our own personal chance to “Ask Amy” about female friendship! She graciously dished with us about the Mighty Queens, how to make friends, what she wants women to learn from her book, and more. And yes, she was every bit as nice, warm and bubbly as you’d imagine!

Q. Who are the Mighty Queens of Freeville, and what makes them mighty?

A. Well, my daughter assigned this [title], ironically, to my mother and my aunts because, of course, we live in this cruddy little town, so it was originally an ironic title, and we laughed about it, but then, I think it became true. And one of the things I realized after I finished writing the book was that Emily and I had assumed our place in the hierarchy. And so, the Mighty Queens are the women in my world who know and love us, who nurture and support us, who laugh at our jokes. It’s sort of about being appreciated, on the one hand; on the other hand, they are in charge of their own destiny. All of these women were single mothers raising kids. They are independent, they’re smart, they’re snappy, they’re funny, and they take care of one another. That’s what passes for royalty around here. 

Q. Most of the women in your book are related to you. For people who don’t have a really strong family base, can girlfriends fill that role? 

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[Giveaway winners have been notified. Check your email!] Are you divorced, widowed, on an extended break from dating? Are you “of a certain age” and thinking about dipping your toe back into the dating pool? We know that many of you are dating “the second time around.” So, we jumped at the opportunity to interview Judith Sills, PhD, author of the brand-new Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You’ve Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted—especially after reading her views on female friendship! In this 288-page guide, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Sills leads readers through each stage of the “re-entry” process. It’s an honest, witty, and sophisticated look at midlife dating, and definitely “not your daughter’s dating guide.” Here’s a woman who really knows relationships—and, she’s funny—so we were thrilled that she took some time to answer some questions especially for GirlfriendCelebrations.com.  Read on for our interview—and all the details on how to win one of FIVE FREE COPIES of the book! 

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Have a girlfriend who needs some extra nurturing this holiday season? Perhaps she has been down in the dumps, or she’s been busy taking care of everyone else but herself. Maybe she’s a busy mom, frazzled grandma, or overworked colleague. Here are some gifts to help her pamper herself, just a wee bit. She will thank you for it!

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