As much as we would like them to, many friendships—even the best of them—don’t last forever. So when a close friendship falls apart, it’s natural to feel a sense of loss and pain, particularly if the friendship was a meaningful one. But with some insight and understanding, you may be able to avoid the traps that commonly derail female friendships. Here are five pitfalls to watch out for: (photo via flickr)

1) Getting too close too soon  

You think you’ve met your new best friend and immediately tell her your life story—the good, the bad, and the ugly.  You tell her about your old best friend who unceremoniously dumped you, your boyfriend’s wicked temper, and that you recently overcame a serious drinking problem. Before you have time to blink, she seems like she is no longer interested in being your friend. 

A better approach: 

Finding a new friend is almost like love at first sight. While there might be compelling reasons why you are attracted to someone, it doesn’t mean the chemistry is going to be right for you for the long haul. Telling someone too much too soon may frighten her. Intimacy and sharing needs to unfold gradually as two women get to know one another over time. 

2) Being too secretive 

Some women are so private and insecure that they are unable to be open with their friends. It may be because they were betrayed or dumped unilaterally, either by a best friend or a spouse. Subsequent to that trauma, their lives become filled with secrets because they have a hard time trusting other people.  

A better approach:  Read the rest of this entry »