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Girltalk October 2009: Let’s Have Some Fun!

Hey, Girlfriends! Your Girltalk…Taking it Deeper topic for October is FUN and PLAY! You can read through Christine Arylo’s discussion guide below. If you are hosting a Girltalk group, you may want to download this month’s printable guide here. Want to know what Girltalk is all about? Read this. If you have any questions about Girltalk…Taking it Deeper™ or suggestions about how we can improve your experience, please leave a comment or email us. We can’t wait to hear how your Girltalk group goes!

When is the last time you heard a 7-year-old say…

* “I can’t play right now, I have too much work to do.”

* “You can play, but only after you get all your work done!”

* “You know, I’ve too much to worry about to stop and take time to have fun.”

Not lately, right? So at what age do we, did you, stop making play a priority? When did fun stop being what you spontaneously do everyday and become what you ‘deserve’ or schedule. At what point in our lives do we women start thinking crazy thoughts like, “I’ve worked so hard that I now deserve to play” (as if we need justification for fun??). Or do insane things like find free time and instead of playing or relaxing, fill the time with tasks and busy-ness. Even when we do let ourselves off duty, how many of us fully let loose and play with the abandon of a 7-year-old? If we are honest, most of us feel guilty if we ‘goof-off’ or never really get 100% present in the fun activity because the “to-do list” or the “I’m-worried-about-everyone-else-list” is running in the background of our minds.

This month at Girltalk… Taking it Deeper™ we say “FOOEY!” to this not-having-fun busy-ness and we say “YAHOO!” to reclaiming fun and play as an everyday part of our lives. We all used to be able to have fun without guilt or worry… what if you could have that again? In a way that fits you today, as the woman and girl you are right now? And don’t tell me you don’t have time. You don’t not have time to enjoy your life!

I invite you and your Girltalkers to take October as a month to revisit and reclaim fun for yourself. I’ll give you the tools… all you have to do is use them. How about it? I promise you it’ll be fun!

GIRLTALK… taking it deeper: FUN & PLAY

Step One: Your Personal Experiment – FUN-TIME TRAVEL

This adventure is for you to take on your own, before getting together with your girlfriends.

Your Mission: Learn more about you by traveling back through your life and remembering what FUN was for you at different ages.

One thing that I have learned about fun is that it changes as we age, and it also stays the same. Both are true. There are things that were fun for you when you were 7 that would still be fun if you gave yourself the permission to just let go and be your little girl again. Be honest, wouldn’t you just love to do a cartwheel in the grass or skip down the street and not care what anyone else thought? And there are things that you thought were fun as a teenager and in your early twenties that would so not be fun today. We’ll just leave those examples in the past where they belong J All of that information – about what fun used to be and about how your definition of fun has changed as you have grown are great ways to get to know the woman you are today even better.

The How-To: I invite you to learn more about your personal definition of fun by taking a trip back in time … it’s called Fun-Time Travel. Just like any other kind of time travel, you have to focus on this one activity. You can’t wash dishes and time travel at the same time. Here’s how it works:

1. Give yourself an hour at least to sit with some pen and paper (crayons even better).
2. Take a trip back through time, close your eyes even, and remember what fun was like for you at the age of 10… 15… 25… 30.. and so on.
3. Make a list or write a few paragraphs about what you remember as fun for each age.
4. Then go back and read what you wrote. Find the wisdom. Find what’s true about you.
5. And then, with this new enlightened view of your life, ask yourself, “What is fun for me today? And how can I bring more fun into my life today?”

For more detailed instructions on how to do the FUN-TIME TRAVEL EXPERIMENT click here.

Step Two: Throw a Girltalk… Taking it Deeper™ Event with Your Girlfriends

Use our super dooper fun conversation technology— Be Real. Be Wise. Be You.— guaranteed to get you closer to yourself and your girlfriends. To get the skinny on how to start a Girltalk group, and how to facilitate a fabu Girltalk gathering, download the Girtalk… Taking it Deeper™ Guide here.


Your goal here is to have each woman ‘check in’ on her personal experiment as a way to get the group connected, it’s a great primer for great Girltalk!

* Each woman says her name and then answers this question: “Tell us about a time in your life when you had the most fun, and why it was so fun for you.” Even if they didn’t do the experiment, they should be able to answer that question. If some women brought a visual of their experiment, let them know they can show it now or whenever they want throughout the night.
* Go around the room until everyone has spoken. This will get you all connected enough to the conversation topic that you’ll be ready to Get Real!


The goal? Get the truth on the table. Say what needs to be said, but too often isn’t. Use these questions to get the conversation started, or to change gears as the Girltalk grows. Ask women to think about what they learned through their personal Fun-Time Travel experiment as fodder for the conversation.

* What was most surprising about what you learned about fun through your lifetime?
* What’s true about fun & play in your life today? What do you want more of? Less of?
* Do you have a voice inside your head – an inner mean girl – that says things to you that stop you from having fun, or just letting go and playing? What does she say?
* What excuses do you use that keep fun and play away? What’s the cost? What’s the benefit of keeping the excuse alive? What’s the truth?


Now it’s time to bring the wisdom forward so that you can start bringing forward thoughts and ideas that are going to help and inspire you to create the life you really want.

* Why do women, why do you struggle to have fun without guilt? When don’t you struggle and just do it? What is the difference?
* What could your inner mean girl say instead to make her an ally on your side to help you have more fun and play?
* Who in your life is really good at having fun? What makes it easy for them to have fun? What can we learn from them?
* If you were to look back at yourself at the age of 15 or 25, what wisdom does that younger you have for you today about how to keep fun and play in your life?


Now it’s time to take action, to do something out of your comfort zone that has the potential to make real shift in your life. Using this question, ask each woman to take a dare to bring more fun into her life. And like a dare, it has to push her edges.

* What is something that you loved to do as a little girl or a younger woman that you’ve just thrown to the side? Dare yourself to bring that part of you back to life! What’s the ME-Dare you take today?
* To get some ideas, check out this list of Pure Play Dares.

Have a great time Girltalking this month!

With big heart,

Christine Arylo

Chief Girltalker

Next Month’s Topic: Holidays & Obligation: Guiltless Girls Have More Fun.

To learn more about Christine Arylo, creator of Girltalk… Taking it Deeper™, inspirational catalyst and self-love expert, visit her at, a virtual cornucopia of self-love inspiration created just for you. You can also download her free Madly in Love with ME Guide, full of daring and practical tips on how to fall more in love with you everyday, at And remember, you can subscribe to monthly Girltalk reminders right here.

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