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Girltalk February 2011: Do You Really Love Yourself?

Loving yourself can be the hardest task of all. But February is the month of self-love… and we are daring you to CHOOSE SELF LOVE! We all know that loving ourselves is something we should do… we all know that you have to love yourself first before you can love another… we would all love to take care of ourselves better but find it more of a dream than a reality, but this month at Girtalk… Taking it Deeper™ we take a stand for self-love, because it is not a luxury, it is a must-have. Download this month’s printable Girltalk Guide here.

Be Real.

Could you imagine telling a child, “Hey you, don’t love yourself, that’s selfish.” Of course not. And chances are that if asked, “Do you love yourself?” most people would say, “Yes, of course I do,” when in fact the majority of us don’t really have a clue what self-love actually means, or requires. This lack of understanding about self-love isn’t surprising when you consider that the current definition of self-love on is ‘conceit, vanity and narcissism’ (no kidding!) Or when you look at the pressures today’s woman faces, equal to men in many ways, knowing she can do anything, but exhausted by her attempts to do and be everything.

While it is true that women and girls have more equality and self esteem that ever before, something isn’t changing. We believe that something is self-love… while self esteem is something we want every woman and girl to have, knowing that you can do anything doesn’t stop women and girls from beating themselves up, putting themselves into abusive relationships or hating and destroying their bodies.

Today, in the 21st century, these are the facts:

  • 1 in 3 women will be in an abusive relationship before the age of 20. 80% will return.
  • 1 in 3 women will be sexually abused.
  • 4 of 5 girls will think about dieting before 4th grade.
  • Almost 1 out of 2 women will suffer through a divorce. 20% in the first 5 years of marriage.
  • 80% of women are so exhausted that they are headed for extreme adrenal gland fatigue.
  • Women surveyed today are no happier than women surveyed in 1970, even though they have more equality, self esteem and freedom.

Be Wise.

My definition of self-love is quite different than the version – and it boils down to this: Do you have unconditional love and respect for yourself? A big question for sure. Self-love can feel so intangible and vast to attain, but there is a path, there are milestones – I’ve experienced at least 5 of them myself over the past 10 years. I call these milestones the gates of self-love. And you can use them to see where you have load of self love and where you don’t.

In honor of this February 13th, the international day of self love, I’ve created The Self Love Test to give you insight on where you are ready to grow more self love by identifying the 5 gates of self-love, which ones you’ve passed and which ones you are still circling around. Brief descriptions of the gates are included in this packet, and you can get the full details as the vows and hows of self-love in the free self-love kit at

Be You.

My self-love dare to you is that on Feb 13th, or any day in February, you choose one gate of self-love and make that the gate you focus on this year…and to do it with the support and insight of the women in your Girltalk circle.  You each witness each other’s commitment and support each other as the year goes on. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to do it in your own Girltalk group: Read the rest of this entry »